00001 · Electrolytes
Our bodies are meant to contain the same saline and rich liquids as the seas from which we came. Our brains need salty synapses for maximum electric efficiency to fully comprehend this short life we get to live.
Why are they called electrolytes? Because they carry an electric charge! Without those minerals, you’re simply less sparky. Your muscles and brain are like an engine low on oil.
If anyone in my orbit has any kind of mental or physical health problem, my first act of care will be to offer some electrolytes. I’m a jerk about it. I am mostly ignored, but every once in a while somebody takes me up on it, and their life is changed forever.
For example, my friend once told me she had “reverse seasonal affective disorder” as a Phoenix resident. Summer—not winter—would send her physical and mental health into a downward spiral. Starting in May, she increasingly stayed indoors with the shades drawn. She spent five months hiding from the sunlight and the crippling migraines that intensified as the concrete island of Phoenix held more and more heat.
I electro-vangelized her. I gave her a box of those orange Emergen-C packets, and told her to not hold back. It worked. To this day, she is a fully functioning and happy human in the Phoenix summers.
For a while I worked light construction with my ex-father-in-law, a contractor who did odd renovation jobs. One of our gigs was some roof work. For whatever reason, an outdoor job on the ground isn’t nearly as debilitating as an outdoor job on top of a building. Within a few days, our little crew was beat. I gave everyone electrolyte pills, and the turnaround was immediate. More converts.
I see folks in the Arizona desert trapped in a vicious cycle of chugging water like they just can’t get enough. The problem is they are also flushing their electrolytes out even faster. Half your thirst is for those electrolytes. A good half-liter of electrolyted (electro-lit?) water is worth two liters of just plain water.
My apologies to all my friends and family who hear me say this constantly, especially my daughter. If she discusses any of her problems with me, she will preface it by saying, “And yes I took some electrolytes.” I will then shut up and actually listen.
You see, electrolytes are my love language. I think we all have some tool we use as a default when we want to show we care, whether it works or not. We offer a hug or a beer or a drive or a carrot cake or a hike or sex or prayer or some go-to trite advice. The key is do no harm: perform no unnecessary surgery, don’t offer fentanyl, don’t condescend, don’t shame.
If you’re interested in some good electrolytes, please skip the Gatorade and Powerade. They’re fine and convenient, but those drinks contain a lot of sugar and weird corporate shit. Yes, sometimes you do want some carbs and sugar energy in a sports recovery drink. But I prefer electrolyte pills or liquids that are concentrated and specifically focused on that perfect electrolyte mix and nothing else.
I like the brand Lyte Show a lot. This is is the stuff that firefighters use. You mix it into water at whatever ratio you prefer. Some folks don’t like the taste, but it’s a supplement, not a sipping cocktail. It acts fast, and you can mainline it if you’re cool like me.
A final tip: I try to make electrolytes part of my nighttime and waking up routines. My body gets the electrolytes it needs while it rests and rebuilds itself at night, and then I get another dose to get through the day. It’s a way to love myself.
A final final tip: What we do for others, we should do for ourselves.
